E – Energy

I wish I could have energy to do everything all the time. I feel this constant exhausted state, whether I have had 4 hours sleep or 20 hours, it is a huge frustration of my life. I wish I had the amount of energy to do everything I wanted constantly without having to worry about whether it’s going to burn me out for the next three days later. Ironically, trying to write this post is exhausting. It’s taking so much brain power to try and come up with the words to write this. It just feels like constant brain drain to do even the simple tasks. I know it’s the territory that comes with being chronically ill with the immune system of a small child, but it’s exhausting to just be lacking of energy all the time.

I’m frustrated because I am planning to do streaming and crafting and I’m constantly worried about making schedules and plans because one day I can feel perfectly ok to do stuff but on the next day I can’t even leave my bed or chair. I wish that my bodies energy was at least reliable and had some sort of function. Until then I just need to just carry on the best way I can, and enjoy each day that is a good day

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